We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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