I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize