Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize