what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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