The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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