feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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