we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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