I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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