am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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