I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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