So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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