I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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