I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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