Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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