He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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