come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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