My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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