Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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