I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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