It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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