Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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