guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize