are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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