Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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