If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize