jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize