so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
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I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
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seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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