i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
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You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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