those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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