but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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