Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
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Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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