Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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