paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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