it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize