i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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