She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I believe in your delicious
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize