Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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