Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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