her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And then my night got REAL pukey
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize