I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
there is glitter all over my balls
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize