I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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