was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
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He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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