Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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