at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize