when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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