You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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