So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize