you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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