I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
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I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
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Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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