you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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